Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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