it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I just found puke in my bra..
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
