I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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