He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
