i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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