i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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