Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
