It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize