I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize