this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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