Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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