Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
