i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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