Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
