So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
