Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Randomize
