just tell him i said nine months
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
