i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
