I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
