my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
