You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
