apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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