There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
