VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
