Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
