like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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