She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
