Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
