Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Porn is love you can see.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
