no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
