smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
