I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
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