Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
