Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
