she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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