bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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