The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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