...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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