You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
