"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
