It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
