This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
