Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize