Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
