Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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