you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
