Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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