Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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