Having a random hookup so left but love u
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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