I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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