I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
