So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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