3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
