I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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