No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
