You really coming over, don't trick.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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