You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
