This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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