I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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