Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
