We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
