As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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