He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize