yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
