Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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