i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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