The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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