every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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