We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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