Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
