waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
