saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
