You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
