Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
We just shotgunned beers for America
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
