Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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