He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize