you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
