i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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